We all find it very difficult when someone we are close to dies. We find it even more difficult when someone that we are close to takes his or her own life. Suicide is a sensitive subject, and even more so when we are dealing with it on a personal level. We may experience a wide range of emotions and difficulties trying to cope with the suicide of someone that we are close to; however, it is possible to grieve from the loss and recover. In this article, we will review many ways that you can cope with suicide on a personal level.
Many people find themselves wondering if a person that committed suicide should be grieved over the same as a person that did not. The answer to this is obvious. Of course, you should deal with this loss in the same manner as any other loss. Regardless of the way a person dies, they still lived. It does not matter how they died, you still care and feel love for them. It is acceptable to grieve over the death of one that committed suicide just as you would grieve over a person that did not die by suicide. Do not be ashamed to cry or show other emotions simply because a person took their own life.
It is important for people who suffer the death of someone close by suicide to not lay the blame on them. Give credit where credit is due. The person who takes their own life takes it because they feel as if they can no longer deal with their life. You had absolutely no part in this. It may be very difficult to accept this, but the person who commits suicide has deep emotional and mental issues that they were not strong enough to deal with. Dealing with conflict is always based on the principle of "fight or flight". People who commit suicide are choosing the "flight" response. They have fought for - what they felt - was long enough and no longer wanted to suffer.
It is important that you find people that you can speak to on the matter of the deceased. It is best to find others that knew the person so that you may have the common knowledge to share your experiences with each other. When a loss occurs - regardless of the type of loss - it is important to share that loss with people who are able to support you and you are able to support them. Additionally, sharing the loss combined with the memories that you each have of the person may be beneficial in the recovery process.
Finally, you should create a way to remember the deceased in a special way. Yes, they took their own life. Yes, they were – seemingly – too weak to continue the fight. Yes, they left you. There are many creative ways to remember your lost loved one.
You may create a scrapbook or photo album with pictures of them, you may create a social media page in remembrance of them, or you may purchase keepsake jewelry that includes an image of them – the choice is yours.
The important thing is, to remember them. Judging the manner of death and attempting to forget that person will only result in a longer grieving process and will hurt you – emotionally.
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