Last week, we started our series, “Hope during the Holidays: Coping with the Grief of a Life Lost”. In that first part, we reviewed that losing a loved one is already challenging; however, when coupled with the holidays, it is even more difficult. You learned that it is true that, when someone we love dies, a part of the world that we have always known dies with them. The world, literally, changes. As humans, we do not cope well with change. You learned that it is important to accept the change that has happened in your life and to accept that you have no control over the loss, itself; however, you do maintain control over how you respond to that loss. This week, we continue our series by expounding on the feelings that are commonly experienced during the grieving process that occurs around the holidays.

Allow Yourself to Feel

Grief is absolutely tragic. It is the single most difficult thing that we, as people, must contend with during our lifetime. We all experience various feelings when faced with the loss of a loved one. During the holidays, most people are experiencing happiness, joy, and excitement. You, on the other hand, may be a bit angry, terribly depressed, or, thoroughly sad. People around you may encourage you to be happy. They may attempt to rush you through the grief process; however, you must allow yourself to feel what you feel – regardless of what others say, do, or think. You must remember that you are a responsive person that has just experienced a significant event in your life. It is acceptable to experience the emotions that you feel. More importantly, you must allow yourself to feel.

Common Feelings

Now that you know and understand that you will feel something and that, even during the holidays, it is acceptable to feel what you feel, it is now important to understand the most common feelings that occur when coping with the loss of a loved one. These are as follows:

• Depression and Sadness – When facing a world that no longer includes your loved one, you are likely to experience depression and sadness. You may feel desolate and alone. You may feel as if you lack all energy and simply do not have the motivation to do what you need to do each day. You will think about your loss every single day and will find yourself sad when nearly everyone around you is happy with the anticipation of the holidays.
• Anxiety and Fear– When you lose someone you love, it is normal to feel nervous and scared while facing the uncertainty of the future. You may fear life without the person that has passed on.
• Anger and Guilt – When you lose a loved one, you may find yourself very angry. You may be angry that your loved one has left you or that those around you only seem to be focusing on the holidays. If you experience any joy, you may feel guilty because your loved one is no longer around to experience joy.

Thank you for reading Part 2 of our series, “Hope during the Holidays: Coping with the Grief of a Life Lost”. The holidays without a loved one are a significant and sad time. We hope that you are able to experience some degree of relief by reading our series. Be sure to return next week for Part 3 of this series. If you would like to memorialize your loved one, click HERE for ideas on how to succeed in your endeavor.